On and On...

So, as soon as we sold our shuddering car, we made a bee-line for Te Puke (teh poo-kay). It is the kiwi fruit capital of New Zealand, so we thought we could go there and pick up some work. The name of the town is translated roughly as "Barf-Town," or at least that's how it seemed because not only was it full of sketchy characters at every turn and it oddly smelled of cat food, but there was no work in sight. Unfortunately we found this out after we paid for a week of accommodation in the puke's nicest hotel, which meant that it was still pretty dirty. What else should we have expected from a place called the puke? Nothing, actually. On a happier note, we didn't get robbed while we were there.

We finally decided to vacate Te Puke after one day of kiwi picking, along with every Indian lady in New Zealand (Not Shoshone or Cherokee, however) and too many other days in the library doing asinine things like READING! (gasp). We struck out east, along the coast of the north island to try to find a little more excitement, which we found, although it wasn't exactly the right kind.

Emily has this urge, most times, to eat lunch away from as many people, and near as many elements of nature as possible. She is such a hippie. Anyway, it was her idea to dine beneath the famed 'Pukawata' trees (please note that the trees are neither spelled, nor pronounced that way). As we tried to locate said trees, Emily grew impatient, and settled on a flat, rocky area by the bay. Sadly, we never reached this lunchtime destination for our rental car, which could be mistaken for a go-kart, bottomed out on this magnificent rocky area. Some of us (emily) were laughing, while the rest of us (josh) attempted to dig our car from it's buried perch. Needless to say, we didn't enjoy lunch beneath the pukawata trees.

Speaking of our car. In my best summary, it is a metal shell encasing what, at top speed, sounds frighteningly like a leaf-blower. Hills are not her friend.

Moving along. We made our way up to Lake Waikaremoana where the altitude dropped the
temperature to a shocking 4 degrees!!!! Holy chill bumps, Batman! While camping was our first option, we spent most of our time trying not to freeze by sitting in the kitchen, doing more reading. It was a bad evening until a very nice lady realized how cold we were and offered us chocolate cake. Her exact words were, "Oh, you're cold! Let me get you some chocolate cake." I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but I loved her logic. After that, we didn't really get any warmer, but that cake was good.

The 10 speed huffy we were driving struck again with a flat tire. Instead of calling AA (NZ version of AAA, just not as good) for a sweet fee of $85, I made Emily change the tire and we were off to Napier.


Napier was very cool. Lots of old art-deco buildings and...well really that was it. But it was near a really cool place called:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamatea-
turipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenaukitanatahu.

A rough translation of this is, "What the heck?!", but it really means, "The brow of a hill where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed, and swallowed mountains, known as land eater, played his flute to his brother." We tried to get a picture, but the camera switched off at the sight of such idiocy. You have no idea how much I wish I was making this up. If I were that creative, I would be a very wealthy man. On a side note, how would you like to be known as "the man with big knees?" Seems insulting to me.

After we uncrossed our eyes, we headed for Tongariro National Park where we climbed a real life volcano. It was steaming and everything. And we only had to share the trip with about 265 other people. I guess a 7 hour walk up one side of a volcano and down the other is more appealing than it sounds. It only took us 5 hours to finish, and we were first, even though no one else knew it was a race. Even still, WE WON!

After we got back, the 'weed-eater wannabe' car from hell struck again with a dead battery. At this point, I was ready to leave it in the parking lot and hitchhike home. But I found a nice man who didn't mind that I smelled like 4 different flavors of body odor to jump the little scooter-mobile.

We ventured through Taupo, and didn't to anything but watch a beautiful sunset.


Stay tuned for more in the near future.

Fox, Ferries, Forts and Freedom

Welcome, Friends and Foes.

Do you know what today's special letter is? No, it's not P, it's F!

Our first F-word for the day is Fox, which stands for Fox Glacier. We climbed all over that son-of-a-gun. They even gave us little spikes to attach to our boots so we wouldn't go sliding into blue icy oblivion, which was sweet. Strangely enough, we had to walk through a rainForest to get to Frozen Field that is Fox. There are only a Few situations like this on the Face of the earth. One is up the road at Franz Joseph glacier, and the other is Far away in South America. So we were in Fine company on a Freak of nature. Here is a Foto:

If you look closely, you can see my pants, Firmly Fixed into my Fluffy socks. I look Furiously Funny For sure! After our Foxy Foray, we Fled Further north to Picton, where we Frolicked on the sounds, Feeling the heat of the Fading summer. Foto Op:

That brings us to our second F-word of the day: Ferries.

Since there is more than a furlong between the islands here in New Zealand, these Fools make you Fork over Fist-Fulls of Fifties to reach the North. Furthermore, it is a 3 hour tour! Please Forgo the sad Feelings, we Fared much Finer than Gilligan and his Friends. Plus, Ferries are Full of Freaky smiling Fellows who seem Furiatingly Fascinated with one's wife. His Ferret-like eyes were Fully Fixed on her. FREAKY!!! We Finished our ride in Wellington, at 11 PM, which happens to be about Four hours after hotels and hostels Fling their doors shut and Flip off their lights. Team Mitchell was Frustrated with these Findings.

Now we Find ourselves Facing our third F-word: Forts.

For centuries, little Freds and Fionas have been Fashioning Forts For Fun, but Team Mitchell was Fed up with searching For Fantastic sleeping arrangements, and was Forced to Find Fortitude in their humble Subaru For the Final hours of the night. And just like Forts of Fables, we were bored with it about the time it was Finished. But instead of Fleeing to more comfortable Furnishings, we were Forced to Further our stay in our car-Fort.

Finally, we come to F-word number Four: Freedom.

Freedom From what? you may ask. Freedom From this effing blog? NO! You must Finish what you have begun.

Freedom is the Feeling Felt when one has Fought the Fleeing car buyers, and Found a Fitting "Friend" to, in essence, rob you with his Fashoinably low offer on your Fine, Fine transportation. Flavio and his Friends Found a sucker in Team Mitchell, and raped them Financially. But For now, we are Free of the car For the Finality of our Zealand-Fun.

That Feeling of accomplishment in your Face is Fitting, and earned. For you never Failed in Finishing the F-Blog. Here are a Few more Fascinating Fotos:

Foxy Fields of Frozen Water!

Czech out those Fronds!Fabulous!!!

Those are all the F-words I can think of, save one......

FAREWELL!